'What time does the internet close?': 40+ Clueless customers who had ridiculous questions to ask their local retail workers

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2023 11:00 AM EST

Have strength retail workers, you will need it when these customers show up. 

As a cashier, you'll ring up hundreds of customers each shift, and you'll probably forget all of them, except those who are exceptional. Maybe they're especially kind in a job where many customers are impolite. Or maybe they're really funny and manage to make you laugh. Or, if you're these people, you've remembered the customer because they've asked some of the most absurd questions ever. 

Several people who worked in electronics told hilarious stories about customers who just did not understand technology whatsoever. For example, apparently lots of people think that if an item is wireless, that means it can charge wirelessly, too. Or they get upset that the device has to be plugged in at any point, thinking that it should always be wireless. These poor tech workers must spend ages trying to explain these terms to people! Another common theme is people who literally don't understand how to turn on their computers. Then they call up the tech stores to say that their devices aren't working at all. 

Check out all these retail workers whose experiences with clueless customers left them dumbfounded. Then, one waiter was unhappy that some customers left him only a ten percent tip, and he was bold enough to tell them so. 

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  • 01
    'If these T-shirts are buy one get one free, why can't I just have the free one?' GRACECHAPEL www.DRACECHAFES.CO
    via Keagan Henman on Unsplash
  • 02
    Yesterday, a woman asked me if her phone case could send txt messages without the need to buy a phone...What is the dumbest/most clueless customer you have ever dealt with? Yesterday while I was helping out in Best Buy, a woman approached me with a pink plastic phone case asking how many txt messages it could store in an inbox.... I said she needed to have a cell phone for that. She clearly did not understand.
    via u/neric05
  • 03
    After about 10 minutes of trying to explain that the case was solely for style/protective purposes, I sent her over to the phone department and let them deal with her for the next HOUR. What is the dumbest/most clueless customer you have ever dealt with?
    via u/neric05
  • 04
    bwj8891 I work in customer service for a cell phone company so everyday I hear the dumbest customer I've ever heard. But a good one was when a customer called complaining about international numbers calling an soliciting her. I asked what the number was and she gave me a standard 10 digit number. I asked why she thought it was international to which she said "because the caller ID says it's coming from the District of Columbia".
    via u/bwj8891
  • 05
    [deleted] When I was working internet tech support, I had a customer call us up because his net wasn't working. He said he hooked everything up but "the d thing just won't let me email". He then said "the cable you sent me was too al big". I told him that shouldn't be the case, and he said he had to re-size it to make it fit into his computer. After a little more questioning, I found out he just took the box that had his network card, his modem and most importantly that cd with a huge red sticke
    via u/[deleted]
  • 06
    aside. He then took out the ethernet cable, tried to plug it into his 56k modem, when it didn't fit he took a knife and carved it down to make it fit. I just kind of sat there as he was furious because his service didn't work and we sent him useless equipment. When he finally let me get a word in, I told him he was supposed to run the cd and use all of that other equipment. He said he didn't want the service anymore and told us to cancel it, but I told him he signed a contract and I could setup
    via u/[deleted]
  • 07
    jbomb1080 I didn't have to deal with it, but it was amusing listening to a waiter at an IHOP try to explain to a customer why they couldn't order "Never ending pancakes" to go.
    via u/jb*mb1080
  • 08
    [deleted] I have been a waiter for years but by far the stupidest thing I've ever had happen to me at work happened when I was just starting out. I was waiting on a family of four and they all ordered Ice waters. I brought them their drinks and then a few minutes later the mom waves me over. She says "The out side of my glass is wet" I stare at it and see the beads of condensation on the outside of the glass. "
    via u/[deleted]
  • 09
    Yeah it's called condensation, its what happens when you have Ice water in a room temperature glass" she stares at me like I'm a alien, and then I realize that this was my future as a waiter, dealing with f idiots. I took her drink and wiped it off with a towel and handed it back to her.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 10
    Thepeoplesman I worked at a helpdesk...one time a lady called in complaining she "charged her internet all night, and now it won't work once she unplugged it from the modem"...
    via u/Thepeoplesman
  • 11
    Dougdahead I work in the maintenance department of a large hotel in Ohio. Have had a guest flip out because her room did not have a TV. I told her too turn around, she spun in a circle(NO lie) I then told her to face the exact opposite direction from where she was and look on the the wall above the fireplace. She did and said "Oh, I thought that was one of those fancy digital picture frames."
    via u/Dougdahead
  • 12
    spunkychickpea "Thank you for calling Starbucks, this is Jeff. How can I help you?" "Yes, where are you located?" "We're at the corner of Main and Magnolia." "And where is that." "Do you know where Main Street is?" "Yes." "Do you know where Magnolia Avenue is?" "Yes." "That's where we are."
    via u/spunkychickpea
  • 13
    "Well I'm standing at that intersection and I can't find your store. Is it underground or something?" [looks out the window and sees a woman who looks lost] "Ma'am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?" [begins waving at her] "Yes." "That man is inside a Starbucks. Go there." "That's not Starbucks. That's Quizno's." "Ma'am, I'm very confident I'm in a Starbucks right now." "You're not very helpful" [click]
    via u/spunkychickpea
  • 14
    habragg Back in college, I worked over the summer for a tour bus company in Washington, DC. While driving past the Washington Monument, a woman asked me "How do they get all the flags to fly in the same direction?"
    via u/habragg
  • 15
    Nglennh . Working in Hotels I have meet quite a few dim bulbs. One night a woman stormed into the lobby screaming about how our parking garage did not have enough clearance for her jacked up hummer. I explained that there is uncovered parking across the street, and if her Hummer did not fit in the garage, she could park there. She got irate about how it was unsafe and demanded I (this is a direct quote) "Go
    via u/Nglennh
  • 16
    outside and raise the parking structure with a stick or something". I politely explained that was physically impossible for me to do, and she said "Well, then you shouldn't be working with people!"
    via u/Nglennh
  • 17
    PLACE halfprice06 I worked geek squad once and a customer told me his ipod gave his jeep a virus and that's why he was having engine trouble now.
    via u/halfprice06
  • 18
    MunkeyMann I once had a customer bring back a laptop she bought the day before claiming it was broken. She said it wouldn't open, I asked her if it was windows not loading up or a program not opening, she said the laptop itself wouldn't physically open. I took it out of the box, opened it up and just looked at her. Her mouth fell open, she looked at me and said "Oh, it opens that side! Me and my sister tried for an hour to open it up last night and couldn't" She had been trying to open it from t
    via u/MunkeyMann
  • 19
    ChaalzDahmus I work at the Philadelphia Zoo. One day I was carrying a chicken to the exercise yard. A man was eagerly following me waiting to see what animal I had inside the carrier. The chicken was reluctant to leave her carrier at first, and when she finally exited the carrier I said, "Good bird". Then the man asked me, "Why are you calling it a bird if it's a chicken?" I didn't know how to respond without making him sound like a moron.
    via u/ChaalzDahmus
  • 20
    [deleted] My friend works customer service at Canadian Tire. The other day someone tried to return a flashlight, claiming it wouldn't light up. My friend looked down at the flashlight. It was a hose nozzle.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 21
    [deleted] Once, while working in the travel section of a bookstore, a customer asked for a globe of Britain. I got a lot of daft requests but that floored me.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 22
    theking5tx I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool last summer. We had a strict 'No water-wings" policy. Those little f are death traps. So this woman is putting water wings on her kid next to the pool, and I politely inform her that we do not allow water wings, and have life vests available for free literally 5 feet from where she's standing. She becomes so infuriated that I would "dare to dictate how she treats her child" and tons of other st.
    via u/theking5tx
  • 23
    So I call my supervisor over, and as he arrives and is speaking to her, the kid jumps in the pool. Water wings slip up his arms, and he's suspended underwater. Jump in and pull him out. Woman is furious that I would "have the nerve to touch her child. How dare I?!". TL;DR: Saved a kid's al cause his mom thought water wings were safe.
    via u/theking5tx
  • 24
    Cozmo23 I worked fast food and a customer wanted a cheeseburger, medium fry, and medium drink. I said ok I will ring you up a #1 combo meal. This angered the lady who told me that she didn't want the combo meal just a medium drink, a medium fry, and a cheeseburger. I told her that it would be the same order but this would save her money, but she got even more furious so I politely punched them in separately.
    via u/Cozmo23
  • 25
    [deleted] Customer: My computer doesn't work. Me: Is the monitor on? Customer: Of course. Me: What color is the power button on the monitor. Customer: Black. Me: Can you press the power button on the monitor? Customer hangs up.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 26
    TimRHowell When working at Wal- Mart electronics around 8 years ago, I dealt with a sudden torrent of people returning wireless products. They were furious that these devices needed to be plugged in to charge. I had customers insisting that the other employees said their phone/keyboard/controll er/etc. would "absorb electricity" from sockets as they walked around the house. We had to put up "wireless devices do not charge wirelessly" signs around the entire department.
    via u/TimRHowell
  • 27
    princessk8 My mom wanted "Blueberry with Teeth" for Christmas last year. It's a sad state that I knew what she was talking about. Blackberry, bluetooth.
    via u/princessk8
  • 28
    bobbyfakename Not mine, but a friend told this story in college, and it always amused me. She worked in a camera store, and this was the early 90's, so pre-digital camera era. This woman comes in, wanting to get some photos developed. She hands my friend the whole camera (not unusual; apparently a lot of people didn't know how to get the film out after they were done with a roll, so this part wasn't uncommon). My friend examines the camera, and:
    via u/bobbyfakename
  • 29
    My friend: um... Ma'am, there's no film in here. Woman: That's okay, I still took the pictures. My friend: But there's no film in the camera. Woman: I know, but I took the pictures anyway, so please get them out. My friend: But... You would have to have had film in the camera first... Woman: it doesn't matter, I pressed the button. There are pictures in there. Please get them out. And so on, for quite some time. It ended with the woman storming off, convinced my friend was incompetent.
    via u/bobbyfakename
  • 30
    Ahnita Worked at EB Games when I was 18, in a city in Canada known for its red necks. A man in his 40's came in and spent at least 3 hours browsing every single title on the wall. He refused my help several times and eventually came up to the counter with 5 brand new games on almost every system we carried. After ringing in his selection of Cabela's hunting, Nascar racing and UFC fighting he paid and left.
    via u/Ahnita
  • 31
    Several hours later the man returns! He throws open the front door (it was a stand alone store) and yells "What kind of S show are you running here?!" He is red in the face and stomps towards me and throws his bag of games onto the counter. "NONE OF THESE WORK. THIS IS A S STORE. WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS... (man rants and yells at me for a minute or so before he decides to take a breath)." I asked him, "you tried the games in your Xbox, PC and Playstation and NONE of them worked?"
    via u/Ahnita
  • 32
    His reply "I just got that new player from Wal- Mart THIS AFTERNOON and NONE OF THESE GAMES WORK!!" Of course, he doesn't know the name of 'the disc player' that he bought was. After several painful minutes and him showing me the Wal- Mart receipt out of his pocket... he bought a DVD player. TL;DR: Man buys Video games from me and tries to play them in his DVD player. Screams at me for 20 minutes because it doesn't work.
    via u/Ahnita
  • 33
    blueblankethole I work at a sandwich shop. "I'm not that hungry. Which is bigger? The half sandwich or the whole sandwich?"
    via u/blueblankethole
  • 34
    firstmonkeyintospace If these t-shirts are buy one get one free why can't I just have the free one?
    via u/firstmonkeyintospace
  • 35
    MrGoodbytes Old person: My cable isn't working! Your service _______ ! Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Is the cable box turned on? Old: It won't turn on. We've lost power. Me: It's not going to work without power, I'm sorry. Old: That because your service !
    via u/MrGoodbytes
  • 36
    [deleted] I used to work at an insurance agency. A guy came in for a quote on auto insurance, and lets say it came out to $300 (don't remember the exact numbers.) He said he'd think about. I told him the quote was only good for 30 days and if he came in after that I'd have to run his information again, and he said that was fine. Well, he came back in and it had been more than 30 days so I had to redo the quote. This time it was $250. He was
    via u/[deleted]
  • 37
    furious. "THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU TOLD ME BEFORE!" I calmly said "Sir, I told you before rates can only be guaranteed for 30 days. Also, this is lower than your last quote." Guy- "NO IT ISN'T!" "Sir, this one is $250, and the last one was $300, so this one is lower." Guy- "NO IT'S NOT." At that point I knew I had lost the argument. If a man refuses to acknowledge that one number is greater than another, there is simply nothing more I can do. I just kind of looked at him, dumbstruck, until he walked
    via u/[deleted]
  • 38
    [deleted] A woman once asked me to combine 2 different styles of mylar balloons (a star one and a zebra one specifically) and "make" her a 'God Bless Your Home' balloon in the back. Florists don't make balloons. This is the same woman who refused to accept, and didn't understand, the concept of sales tax.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 39
    ZakieChan I worked at a little local burger joint back in high school. For the kids meal, there was a buger, fries, drink and then a little pack of Oreo cookies. One day, a woman comes in, and asks what our kids meal includes. I tell her, and she asks "so, they don't come with toys?" "No mam, we don't have toys, just cookies." She then asks if I could check, to make sure there were no toys. I said "...sure" and proceeded to look under the counter, saying "napkins, salt/pepper, ketchup, mustard,
    via u/ZakieChan
  • 40
    Though, till this day, I regret not just saying "sure!" and standing there for like 5 seconds, staring at her and they saying "Nope! No toys."
    via u/ZakieChan
  • 41
    Bossnian A client once asked how much it cost the Plasma truck to come out and refill his Plasma TV....
    via u/Bossnian
  • 42
    [deleted] A middle age woman once told me that she only keeps as few songs as possible on her iPod because she uses it when she works out and she didn't want to make the iPod heavier by putting more music on it.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 43
    50v3r31gn Not a customer, but a client, taped an ethernet cable to the window thinking that it would give them better wifi reception.
    via u/50v3r31gn
  • 44
    hotmoves Well, it looks like I found the thread I'm going to be checking all day at work. In high school, I worked in a pizza place. An elderly woman called in one day and said that her grandkids were coming for the weekend and their mother had suggested pizza for dinner. She called us up and asked, "What exactly is pizza?" This led to a forty minute phone call in which I tried to explain all this to someone who lacked even a basic concept of pizza what was. This
    via u/hotmoves
  • 45
    included how you order, explaining each individual topping, popular combinations and how to serve it to the kids. When she came in to pick up her order, she still looked completely confused by what a pizza was. She kept peeking into the box to try and figure it out.
    via u/hotmoves
  • 46
    spunkychickpea When I worked at Starbucks, I had to explain to a customer how to drink out of a water bottle. "Yes, sir. You just drink right out of the top part. You know, where the water comes out."
    via u/spunkychickpea
  • 47
    sonofa2 Working in a hardware store. I was asked quite a few times to cut glass by some dimension, like a 10x12, but the 10 inch had to be lengthwise, not the vertical.
    via u/sonofa2
  • 48
    Idol_Luna one time after ringing up a customer I told him his total, he said "ok" and just sat there... expecting me to do something else, i waited a few seconds and said the total again and asked if it was going to be cash or credit, he looked at me like i had two heads, I waited again and said "uhm, are you going to pay for all of this or were you just wondering how much it costs?" (happens a lot more than you think) he gets all huffed up and
    via u/Idol_Luna
  • 49
    says in a loud voice "I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO TELL ME THE TOTAL!" i was stunned and really was at a loss for words, another customer behind him apparently got fed up and told him, "she told you three d and booked it times!" he paid
    via u/Idol_Luna
  • 50
    Duriel68 I was working at Office Depot doing computer sales and service when this young guy, maybe 23 or so comes up to me near the front of the store. He says "so it says on the door you guys got free wifi?" "Yes we do." "So, like, can I have one?"
    via u/Duriel68
  • 51
    [deleted] When working windows 98 tech support, I was asked by an older man "what time does the Internet close." I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't come up with a witty response.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 52
    lev00r I worked at a hair salon a couple years ago and a (picture annoying fb girl) girl comes in and I take her to my seat, put the cape around her, and ask how we're going to cut it. She asks " can you cut it so its longer?" Dumbfounded I said "no, but I can cut it so its shorter." She glared at me with the stare of Medusa and stated "ugh o mah gawd forget it, men can't cut hair!" And ripped off the cape and stormed off. All the other clients in the salon dying from laughter.
    via u/lev00r
  • 53
    [deleted] I work in Customer Service, I have hundreds of these stories. My most favorite is this call that lasted 10 seconds. All I heard in the back was a loud, static buzzing sound like when Cartman calls Kyle from the future. Me: Thank you for calling customer service Him: Hello?!?! Me: Hello this is customer service Him: pause Me: Can I have your name please? Him: No! hangs up He was on hold for a while too.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 54
    AirhornSonofFoghorn A lady in finance once had me pulled out of meeting with the company COO and VP because "her internets wouldnt move right" She had a piece of candy stuck in her mouse scroll wheel.
    via u/AirhornSonofFoghorn
  • 55
    0 [deleted] I was at a snack bar for my pool one summer, and a woman asked me what end of a hotdog are you supposed to look through.
    via u/[deleted]

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